kinda here, kinda there

hi, sorry for the slight hiatus, i'm going through some tough times and the last thing i wanted was to exist in cyber space.

śródświetlne was a grand success, thank you everyone who came and helped me, even if there were tiny mishaps. i want to do more but right now i have to focus on education more, the non-artistic kind.

not a lot of things happened through out christmas here, i have been eating a lot though, just like every holiday haha! oh, and i wore some christmas socks and earrings, to get into the spirit you know.

oh, but something happened before christmas! i went to see the new star wars! it's amazing, highly recommend. the production value of this film is just so great, i really wish i could visit their set or wardrobes cause the costumes and makeup were so well made, it probably took hours to make some prosthetics. btw, does anybody know a good brand of oil based face paints? cause now i only have water based but they don't work on latex and i can't decide which ones to get.

i want to get back to sending letters, it's so nice and i really miss it. in 2016 i would like to open a tumblr related to postcrossing and mail art, would you be interested? anybody wants to send me something, haha?

how are you planning to spend your new years? i want to draw more, but my room is such a mess a a4 paper doesn't fit anywhere. i was making christmas gifts for my family, little illustrations of celtic birth calendar of trees (i don't know how to call it), and i had to stack it all.

other news, i got a new parka and i think that it might be one of my favourite buy ever. i look good in it. i, with my low self esteem and a high key hatred of my body, can say i look good, so it's bloody good, i'll show you on instagram.

i guess this post is all over the place, i just wanted to get things out of my system and into your brain, forever, ha ha ha! ok, i'll stop now.

śródświetlne posts are coming up, 3 at most really, i want to show you how i made this shizz cause i'm for once proud of it.

enjoy your life, you're worth it.

this has been your new dose of fluff.





i am excited to invite you to a magnificent showing. tomorrow i will hold a costume display with models and hand-made set design.

i'm very proud of this project, it's my biggest to date and it was a massive process for me. never have i ever imagined how much work would it require but i'm very glad that it worked out like so.

there will be much more information about this, i want to show you the cool behind the scenes. 


the event will be held at:

autorskie licea artystyczne ALA
ul. robotnicza 36





hope to see you there!




place by place

i went to an author's tour and talk. to an art gallery. very social of me, right?

it was surprisingly scary but when it began, totally different story. the exhibit is called ''feedback loops'' and is made of 14 pieces (13 photos and a video). all of it was made by a lovely couple, lena dobrowolska and teo ormond-skeaping, polish/british.

for me, the most wonderful thing was the actual place where the photos were taken, tibetan plateau. how cool is that? even though the political situating of the region is in a horrible situation, it is also beautiful, nature is unique and so different from our usual european scenery. i really want to see it for myself but for now, photos will have to do.

the event started at 6pm and i stayed till almost half 10. the artists are very interesting young people, they love to travel, hence the place, and are really into geological issues, ecology and climate change. actually the whole exhibit represents that as well, titles and captions about such stuff being a big part of the whole. they touched on lots of different subjects actually, my favourite being the melting of glaciers. even if it's a very slow process it still is gigantic and visible.

and the photos are amazing. i don't really know anything about professional photography but even i can see they're great. it turns out that because of the elevation and climate the sky is almost always clear or at least light enough for you to use the smallest littlest hole to let the light touch the film. the photos are very vibrant and sharp.

most of the works are scenery but there are a few portraits of local people. the way the photographers shoot, since it was all analog film, is very planned out and particular, you have to space out the film usage. all that i got from their talk, i haven't even thought about such stuff.

but! apart from the quality of the photos, the theme is also interesting. as i said, they tried to incorporate a lot of topics on ecology, geology, climate change. actually the name of the exhibit, ''feedback loops'', is a scientific term used in studies of environments. the way ecosystems all around work is based upon mutual relations not only between each species but also considering the natural environment. those relations are sometimes so close and specific that if you change a tiny part the whole system has to rearrange. even if we, as humans, don't want to admit it, we are a massive part of how the world works and since we affect for example climate change, our impact is enormous.

sometimes, the artists use the similarity between legends and real life to make a point or the way the landscape shows how humanity changed nature, fascinating to say the least, and it's just 13 photos!

let's see some photos of my own, from the event, not nepal!

my favourite piece

i'm not an art critic, just go see it. and regret that you weren't there.


the exhibition is on till 9th of january at miejsce przy miejscu gallery, open mon, wed, fri 12am-6pm, tue, thurs 2pm-8pm.


this has been your monday dose of beautiful education.




on youth and future

i'm sorry this post is late, i went to the cinema and lost track of time last night. btw, ''youth'' with michael caine is great but be prepared to be surprised. i know it sounds absurd but i'll just say, i never wanted it to end. the plot is so moving, the stories intertwine beautifully and it's worth a watch on the big screen if you still have the chance. oh, and the cinematography is stunning, the alps and sunshine is all i need tbh.

but today i won't dwell on another review, i don't think i'm that good at that. i want to talk about the future, maybe.

i'm in my final year, matura is in may and i'll be finished with general education forever, how scary is that?

getting into an university or a college was always obvious for me. i'm quite intellectual and my grades are good, i love to learn and ever since i can remember i wanted to go to csm. fashion was first, than i went through a weird phase of fabric and working on details but it's not for me. ready-to-wear is where it's all at and i want to create haute couture, pretty exclusively. that's why i sort of shifted to costume design and theatre. i've been doing makeup and stage faces for a while now, it's not what i really want to do but i gave me a lot to think about and i feel like it's gonna come in handy, prosthetics and all that. costume sprung naturally, it's way more dramatic than fashion and i like to exaggerate my projects (to my horror at the amount work more often than not, oh well).

right now, my year has just started their first year, since my school is a year longer (artsy fartsy). a lot of my friends finished the ib programme and went into stuff i'm totally not about. i'm a craftsman, i don't do pr, business and maths. everything interests me but i have to create something by hand to be happy. the unfortunate thing is that here craftsmanship is not so well appreciated as it is in the west. studies are limited, especially ba diplomas part-time.

i thought that i'll be going to london first thing after matura but the harsh reality hit hard and i can't. shit right? well, life is life but don't think i'm over it. masters has to be in london. have you seen how many specialties are there in costume!?

ba in poland it is. it turns out that i pretty much have 3-4 options. two in warsaw and two in łódź. costume in general, on this stage, is not exactly popular so i'm not really surprised. i'm limited by the part-time thing, i want to start working to get started on my personal finances (like the responsible, blue-haired, adult that i am).

the one school i'm most interested in is the one in warsaw, mskpu. it's international, the diploma is also in english, subjects are in english as well. i'm quite good at that, if i do say so myself (the cae grade a also thinks so). plus, have you seen the lecturers? names and their accomplishments talk for themselves. another thing, my favourite costume designer, katarzyna konieczka, studied there. i'll write about her some day too, her work is breathtaking.

the only thing is... i'm scared. even if i know i have the power to get in and all, i'm scared. i don't believe myself or in myself. my abilities kind of disappear in my mind and i feel really worthless. why should i write matura well if i have problems getting out of bed in the morning, every morning? i'm not creating when i should and could be. there are a million other people, why would anyone choose me. it sort of spreads into other parts of my life, it's quite worrisome.

i'm not a winner, i don't have the drive to be famous. as i said, my pr is weak as hell, social abilities are not better. it's hard to get work as a normal person and i'm not exactly that tbh.

and why i'm writing all that exactly? part of me wants your compassion, although who would pity the white, quite wealthy girl that just really wants to be a fucking artist. the other wants some sort of support. i don't feel like i have a good example in my real life, help a sister out.

a question of this week, what do you do for a living and how did you get here? why and how have you chosen that path?

that's enough, honey.

this has been your monday (tuesday) dose of future reality.